843 432537 . . .

this feels like blindness - like a fog surrounding me that i cannot see out of. it is whiteness and warmth, and i feel lost inside it. is this not where i am suppose to be? is this not what i was supposed to see? i see this with my eyes, and hear his words, but there is purpose behind them. there is purpose here, but i am so lost in this blindness, i cannot see it. i am so lost in this love that i can feel and know nothing else. if this is not the point, then what? what is?

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"Aviator, I am giving you the answers that you seek!
Now is no time to let yourself be weak!
I've come to you today with the spirit of healing,
Do not be alarmed, his appearance might be unappealing.
You need to look inside yourself, beneath your fear,
To the spirit of transformation and renewal that's here."

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he is here with me, and it is like he was never gone. i know now, with absolute sureness, that he is a part of me. i trust him like i trust myself. i trust him completely, and i listen to every word he says. it is this sureness and this trust that compels me to stay. it is this sureness and this trust that lets me look deeper, beyond the fear of a form so unlike my own, so unlike the spirits and the souls that i have seen. i see beneath the palpable matter to the majesty beneath. he has shown me this. he has shown me the belly of the beast, and it is beautiful.

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"In ancient marble he is coiled,
Within its bonds this healer has toiled.
Transformation and renewal is his spirit,
Remember, Aviator, not to fear it.
He has much to show you about the the spirit of transformation,
Try not to ignore all of his information.
You, the supposed Herald of Spring,
Should understand the renewal this healer will bring."

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i try to see him.
i try...